Damn you NASA

Why is everyone suddenly fascinated with "all-natural" products and "organic" foods? While this movement began quite some time ago, the advertising for such has only recently become pervasive enough to warrant notice. And having caught my attention, it has just as quickly annoyed me greatly.
Today I saw a commercial (it has been on six times in the last two hours) advertising "all-natural" cleaners made from plant oils. I would like to know, first off, how this is even possible. At what point did it become evolutionarily advantageous for a tree to produce oven cleaner? Too many tree dinner parties ruined by a burnt roast? Last time I checked plants tend to make things dirty. Go roll down a hill a few times if you need proof. If grass could clean things wouldn't soccer moms have figured that out a long time ago? "Little Jimmy got grass stains all over his clothes!" would turn into "Little Jimmy's clothes are so clean and bright that today he permanently blinded the neighbors and was mistaken for Jesus twice!" Screw "all-natural" cleaners, give me hardcore chemicals that will either remove the dirt or eat through the metal.
And what the hell are "organic" fruits and vegetables? Have you ever encountered inorganic food? Inorganic life? Seriously, why is NASA spending billions of dollars looking for organic materials as the starting point in the search for life outside earth if we have proof that inorganic life exists right here on our own planet? Couldn't there be an entire race of super inorganic carrots on Mars plotting our demise as we speak? Personally, I think this warrants a major overhaul of NASA's budget and funds allocation.

Doh...

Apparently I have been replaced. I used to be a drummer, but now I am an ex-drummer. For a while I played guitar, and then for a time I was a drummer who moved away. But for the last month I have apparently been an ex-drummer and I didn't even know it. Someone should have told me...what if I had spread this condition to someone else? Here I am wandering the earth with potentially communicable bandlessness, giving it to God knows who, with no regard for human safety. The CDC would crap butter.

And to the new guy, who is probably a better drummer but potentially less funny than I, I have this to say: you are now required to read this blog. No matter how God-awfully, butt-numbingly boring it may be. It comes with the job. That raises my readership(readerhood?) to four...score one for me.